


Hypocrite

by goblin



Category: Askewniverse
Genre: Fluff, Kittens, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-11-07
Updated: 2001-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 11:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblin/pseuds/goblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bob overhears Jay having an interesting talk to their kitten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hypocrite

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The kitten Thermos belongs to starla, but is used here with her permission. Jay and Silent Bob belong to Kevin Smith, but are used here without his permission. Oh well, you can't have everything.

"You're gonna be a good kitty-cat when you grow up, aren't you Thermos?"

Jay was lying on the floor, and Thermos was lying on Jay. Silent Bob looked at them from the lounge room doorway and grinned. He loved the way having a kitten made Jay able to be so unselfconsciously affectionate. Although, come to think of it, if he'd known Bob was there he probably would've toned it down a bit. 

Studiously ignoring the kitten's apparent delight at being lectured, Jay continued. "You're not gonna be a smoker, cos that'd be bad for your little kitty lungs."

Thermos purred. Bob looked at the near-empty packet of cigarettes on the table.

"And I'd better not catch you drinking, prettykittykittycat. You're gonna be all res-pon-si-ble."

Thermos affectionately dug his claws in and out of Jay's t-shirt. Bob looked at the rather messy remains of last night's beer bottle pyramid.

"And you're never gonna watch porn..."

Bob looked at the X-rated videos piled precariously on top of the TV.

"...or insult Bob..."

Something Jay had been cheerfully doing all day.

"...or smoke weed."

What a fucking hypocrite.

"And Thermos," said Jay, sitting up and putting the cat aside, "if you grow up a faggot, I'll fucking kill you."

Bob's eyebrows shot up.  
Faggot??  
Then Jay... that must mean...   
...Huh???

Having finished his lecture, Jay stood up and loped off to his room, leaving Silent Bob desperately trying to work out how much of a hypocrite Jay really was.


End file.
